here i sit 99% done with this crazy leg of motherhood and upon reflection, it hasn't been all bad. i know i am lucky to be here. i know i am beyond blessed to be experiencing this miraculous (albeit insane) adventure. as i wait for him to burst onto the scene i can't help but wonder who or what he will look like? what color his eyes will be? if he will be calm and peaceful, like his father or impatient and temperamental, like his mother? will he be brainy or artistic or both? will he be blonde or brunette? tall or short? tan or fair? as i write these things i realize it doesn't matter, because he will be ours and we will love him more than we will know what to do with. as i think about the past nine months there have been some highlights, some low lights and everything in between.
the good:
feeling and watching him dance around my swimming pool of a belly. watching bromley talk to my tummy, give it "zerberts" and kisses. planning and preparing the nursery. excitement. getting advice from friends and family...and total strangers come to think of it. anticipation. ultra sounds. playing with babies and knowing that soon i get one of my own. showers and celebrations. hearing his heartbeat. nesting. supportive family, friends and co-workers. an unequivocal abundance and outpouring of love.
the bad:
the nausea. the fact that i swear i have been expecting for at least 3 years. someone at work put it perfectly "you have been pregnant FOREVER!" truth. sciatica. the exhaustion. anxiety. waking up several times a night to find the loo. feeling useless. iv therapy. saltine crackers. crying for no apparent reason. loss of balance. loss of memory. loss of my mind.
the nausea. the fact that i swear i have been expecting for at least 3 years. someone at work put it perfectly "you have been pregnant FOREVER!" truth. sciatica. the exhaustion. anxiety. waking up several times a night to find the loo. feeling useless. iv therapy. saltine crackers. crying for no apparent reason. loss of balance. loss of memory. loss of my mind.
the ugly:
vomiting (not pretty, but very real.) water retention. my formerly perfect figure turning into this...oh wait. tired eyes. clothes that don't fit, that i insist on wearing anyway. the pain. strange purple-tinged skin. again, water retention. seriously, it's unreal. the video at birthing class...yikes!
one way or another, here he comes. can't wait to finally meet his little self. life, one ultra crazy miracle. now, we wait...
12 comments:
i almost cried at your post. Such sweet words. and finally a belly pic!! even though it's five months old. :)You still look great. And I can't wait either. Do you need anything in your last days of waiting? Let me know.
You are going to be an excellent mother. Let's be sure to get out to lunch with Laura H. before you never want to do anything besides be with your babe.
i remember being so curious with both our children about their looks, not that it really matters - like you said, but it is so exciting! i was very surprised with both of ours, Grace is very fair and has Lance's strawberry blondish hair, and totally his tall genes, and Willis has fairish skin, blond hair and my dark eyes - and Lance's tall genes too. so i am worried, if we have another, that it will be short and stout like me, and have crazy dark hair like me as well, and look NOTHING like it's siblings. anyway . . .
but good luck!! you two are going to be wonderful parents!! i wish you well!!
ps, i totally retained like an ocean in both my feet with both pregnancies, it was so exciting for me to have my feet, of all things, back to normal!
k, novel finished! take care!
Beautiful post Marce.
I am so excited for the both of you. You are going to be an awesome mom. Good luck with the delivery and everything if I don't see you before.
yay for babies!
BABY!!!! I can't wait to meet the little sucker. Good luck with the final round of the cooking process. Don't let him come out early, he'll be all doughy. And unless he's a brownie, that's just gross. I wish I could be there to give him a little squeeze (or a punch) but you'll have to do the job for me. Lots of love, lady!
you put that all so perfectly! Good Luck!!
You summed up the last few weeks of pregnancy perfectly. And not only do you feel like you've been pregnant for ages...but I was certain I was going to pregnant for the rest of my life. Totally illogical, but I was convinced. But you know that he will be here in his own good time and then joy of being a Mama will overwhelm you. So excited!
Aack! We are all so excited! Grandpa is awaiting the phone call. We will check your blog to see updates!
We love you so much darling!
Chari
Hope you don't mind that I found your blog through Jenny's. I just wanted to say congrats and good luck with the baby. We're having a boy in May so we'll have to get together sometime after he's born and let the little guys hang out together. Take care! Lisa Blanck.
oh marce, what a great post. I am excited to see this little munckin too! I remember looking at my feet a few weeks after giving birth and thinking, "hey those look like my old feet, hooray!"
Can't wait to see the little guy. Count down on.
I lost all my contacts in my phone and wondering if you can e-mail me your digits.
jenblanck@hotmail.com
Oh, yes I hear you about the water retention- I really felt like I would pop. and I remember feeling like prgnancy was a permanent condition- but one day it ended and i have 2 sweet peas to love and enjoy now-
can't wait to hear all about the baby and find out what you name him.
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