time has lost all meaning. two, three, four, five am. i haven't had more than four hours of sleep for three weeks and four is generous. i know i am not alone, but i am new to this and historically i need more sleep than most people i know. i am told that it will all start to feel normal and that one day i will magically wake up and we both will have slept through the night, but it doesn't seem likely and i don't know how much longer i can go without a solid chunk of r.e.m. i love this little man, but his late-night/early-morning squeaking is about to send me to the loony bin. mothers of the world: any advice?
did i mention that i LOVE him? oh how i do. i am fairly certain no one else could still look this gosh darn lovable while screaming his little heart out.
9 comments:
Don't think about the time when he will magically sleep through the night, just be grateful when he goes longer than normal. At this point 5 hours would feel like something magical...but it will turn into 6, then 7, and eventually 11 or 12.
I used to feel like I needed to stay up until 11 to do the last feeding, but Geoff eventually talked me into going to bed earlier...even if I got 45 minutes of sleep before the last feeding...hey, that's 45 minutes more than the night before! Also, take naps during the day. Remember, your body is recovering from something major and any little snippet of sleep you can steal is important.
Finally, just know that you have friends and family that know just how you fell. How you want sleep so bad you feel desperate and anxious. But this stage is short, it doesn't feel that way when you are in it the first time and can't see your way out...but there is a way out...and you will totally make it.
Stay strong and know that your little baby is so lucky to have you as his mama.
I know it's hard to do, but sleep when he sleeps. Even during the day. I always had a hard time doing that so I know it's difficult. I always felt so guilty sleeping as warped as that is.
Going without sleep will put you over the edge. It magnifies everything and makes the crying and diapers seem way worse than they actually are. But it will be a few months before he's ready to sleep for longer chunks of time. And if you want to come out of this with your sanity still intact, the key is to sleep when he's out. The dishes and vacuuming can wait. Just do it.
Hang in there! One morning you'll wake up, and you'll see daylight instead of darkness. It will be glorious.
From a new dad to a new mom:
Everybody has snippets of advice, books give you all the range of different possibilities, but the Favorite and I found a SYSTEM that saved our sanity:
http://momsoncall.com/babyclass/
This was recommendation from Brianne, mother of twins that we both know, that saved us. Anyone who actually does this thanks us profusely, others just suffer.
You feel like a pro after watching these things. All the extra little "tricks of the trade" in a complete approach. Quoting the wife, "best $30 I've ever spent!"
I'm with Chris.
I suffered through two children who did not sleep. Our second slept through the night before our first, and that wasn't until she was 14 months! It had been a good almost 3 years since I'd slept through the night! And trust me, we tried EVERYTHING!! Crying for hours etc. With baby number 3 I'm doing the moms on call thing. I've heard such great things about it from a variety of people.
Hang in there Marce. I know exactly what you are going through. I remember trying to stay awake enough to read the sleep books cause I was so desperate. I seriously own like 15 of them. Nothing worked. And then the emotional state of being on the verge of tears everytime you hear them cry. Just terrible. But give momsoncall a try. I hear it's great.
Good Luck! And call Grandma Liz for a little babysitting. I bet she'd rescue you for a few hours sleep. Leaning and relying on family during those first early months are key.
oh, marc! he is so darling!
i hear you. i turn into an absolute monster when i don't get sleep and when i have to feed a baby in the middle of the night....wow, stay away!
it WILL get better, i promise. try to stay sane and nap when he does. (this is something everyone told me to do, but i never did)
you are a great mom, and it is okay to get frustrated with this little man. he will only be this little a bit longer and then you will wonder where the time went and forget about your long horrible nights!
Welcome to the 2am mother's club. I use to think of all the other mom's awake in the middle of the night with me:)
Those first few weeks I would just be on survvival mode, and try to function as a human being.
There are two books I read that I found helpful...I will have to get the names to you.
but alas, somehow around 6 weeks for us, life changed, and sleep somehow increased, and I could actually get out of the house again...hang in there.
Need anything?
I always think the first two months you just have to survive. Don't expect him to sleep more than 4 hours until then. My babies slept throught the night at 6 weeks because I tried to get them on a schedule. The two books I read that CHANGED everything were Baby Wise and Happiest Baby on the Block. I combined the 5 "s" (swaddle, side lie, suck (pacifier), swing, and SSSSHH(white noise...ike a fan)) with the routine of Baby wise which is EAT, WAKE SLEEP!! This routine is important because routine gives a baby a feeling of stability and what to expect next. This, of course, will make him less fussy. Right when he wakes up, feed him then try to keep him awake for at least a 1/2 hour to an hour and then swaddle him up and put him to bed and he should wake up in time for his next 3 hour feeding. I am making it sound complicated but it really is amazing how it works. Their tummies acclimate to the routine and you are guaranteed a little rest in between. Babies always sleep better when they're swaddled and I put a little fan in their rooms to drown out any noise. Even if they didn't want the swaddle I forced it at first and they eventually crave it. Same with the pacifier. Jack didn't want one at first but I made him like it:-) He sleeps so great now. But, like I said, don't expect anything miraculous until at least 6 weeks.
k, maybe this is silly advice . . . but sometimes babies get gassy (i depened on gas drops for both my kids - they totally help!), or need to burp, so i would just be sure to even burp him in the wee hours of the night, maybe that will help a bit. i know with Will, it did. oh that baby and his bodily functions . . . and i agree with another commenter about how the first 2 months are sort of survival mode. both of you, well and Brom too, are all transitioning into this new world, and there is lots to figure out and get used to for each of you!! but i am sure you are doing great, and the best thing is to listen to your own mother's intuition. you will figure out what is right. and before you know it, you will know his sweet cries, and be able to communicate with him in a way that you would have never imagined. it is amazing when you get to that point, it just sorta sucks it take time to get there!!
be well, and seriously, nap when you can!! take care Marce, and be sure to pass along a congrats to his proud grandparents from me too!
ok, so. it's so hard. i just hear my mom's voice whispering to me "This is just for a moment..." and it all is. When you get a 4-6 hour stretch you will find yourself getting up and checking on them, just to make sure they are still breathing :)
Hy did not sleep through the night on a consistent basis until almost 2. some just aren't good sleepers i hear.
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